You know what was fun?  When I went home for the holidays and people kept asking me if and when I would have kids.  Like more so than usual.  I still say the same thing.  I do not want kids, nor do I see myself wanting any.  Ever.  They always are all, "you'll change your mind."  No.  I will not.  Occasionally, VERY rarely, I will stumble upon some well-curated instagram photo where the babies are all cute and cozy looking with a happy family, a beautiful home, etc, and I will think, "Awww, that's nice.  Maybe I could do that."  Then I snap back to reality and realize that they are expensive, my life will become 100% worry, my body will stretch and change in ways in which, psychologically, I do not think I could cope mentally which would most likely lead to PPD and all sorts of self-hate which is selfish and narcissistic (not PPD, of course, the other things that would bring my mood significantly down), but that's me.  I'd rather be honest and say that I'm too vain and selfish to let my body go through that than have a child and either pretend it's okay or become a raging bitch mother all resentful for some kid that I find out I didn't actually want.  OYYEEE.  If you thought you I sounded bratty in my last post, check me out now!

It was mostly parents and parent friends that asked me those questions.  My grandmother is super cool and was defending my choice during the holidays, so mad props to her.  Also, none of my close high school friends have kids yet, nor do they seem on the path to doing so which is nice and reassuring.  Not that I actually feel pressured by people asking me about having kids.  I don't.  I just get bored of having to defend my choice in these conversations.  I'd rather talk about school and future career plans.  My brother can give my parents grandchildren.  He said he wants four kids.  Fool.

Instead I am getting a cat.  Yep.  I bet that's a shock.  I know that I mentioned I would have a dog this year, but I just cannot do it.  I'm on the go way too much, might not even be in Boston for the summer, and it is so much work that I cannot take on right now.  When I get a home and settle, I will get my pup, but right now, it's Scottish Fold time.  Like Maru.  I'm not kidding.  I am picking him up next week.  It's a straight ear fold, so it has the dog-like personality still, but still looks like a kitten and not an owl.  He will be adorable, with huge eyes and a flat-ish looking smushy face, giant paws, and he will buddha for me every day.  I did not want a cat that acts like a cat which is why I am getting a Scottish Fold and not adopting from a shelter which, yes, makes me feel guilty and all sorts of terrible, but I really wanted something that loves affection and attention.  I am naming him Ya Boy Sweaty which is an inside joke from working with Connor back in Portland, so don't ask.  Or if you do, be prepared for a long, confusing story about a sweaty Bob Marley figure.  Sweaty will be what most people probably call him.  I wanted a name that would constantly make me laugh when I say it which is why I chose that over something like Bertie or some of the others I have on my long list of pet names I've been keeping since my undergrad days.  Sweaty.  It's funny.  Hahaha.  Cause I mean, cats don't sweat.  

No comments: