I never wear t-shirts, but my god this one with high-heeled n3amas on it from j.crew needs to be mine.  

Why are there still all these dumb-looking felt hats all over the place?  Why is this still trendy?  They all look like witches in them with their long hairs hanging free.

No one looks good in these hats.  No one.  Might as well wear a sombrero.

Of course, the biggest offender...

Oh heyyyyy, there's an article just published about Comme des Garçons and Rei Kawakubo in the New Yorker.  CLEEEEEEK

Edun.  EWWWWdun.  There is so much of this, this bold contrasting colors thing with wide belts.  Nooooo.  Noooooooo.   The belts!  I don't even know who this designer is!

Photos from Style.com

Belts make me think...

Feathers and denim and glue guns at Burberry Prorsum!  It's like how awful I think I probably looked at one point in middle school, thinking that shapeless, lightly patterned skirts from some crappy teen store should be paired with heavy tops while wearing chunky heals to accentuate my cankles.  

Photos from Style.com

Yohji Yamamoto, F/W 1996

Melgosia Bela in Yohji Yamamoto, Paolo Roversi, 1995

Yes, Cate Blanchett in Antonio Berardi as I sit in my sleeping bag wearing leggings with shorts over top and a dirty hoodie with greasy hair because the water isn't running today.